Paul's Inferiority Complex

One of the things I have never understood about Paul is his inferiority complex. 

2 Corinthians 12:11-13(NKJV)

11I have become a fool £in boasting; you have compelled me. For I ought to have been commended by you; for in nothing was I behind the most eminent apostles, though I am nothing. 

12Truly the signs of an apostle were accomplished among you with all perseverance, in signs and wonders and mighty deeds. 

13For what is it in which you were inferior to other churches, except that I myself was not burdensome to you? Forgive me this wrong!

Paul quite often seems to be comparing himself to the original Apostles.  As if he somehow sees himself as less than them.  Where do you think that comes from?  After all, Jesus personally visited Paul and converted him.  Paul was personally chosen by Jesus.  There is no doubt in Paul's mind about that. 

Here is my guess.  Guilt.  Even though we know intellectually that we are saved and forgiven, a lot of people have a real hard time of letting go of the guilt of the past.  My guess is that maybe there was some of that for Paul.  After all, he had a lot to feel guilty about.

So how do we get over that?  Once you are aware of it, talk to Jesus about it.  He'll help you!

Cornerstone verses!

Love my time with the Word.  Sometimes I get very little out of a reading.  But some days it seems like the whole thing was written just for me.  Today was one of those days.  I think I got somewhere around 6 new things to write about in the coming days.  Very cool.

Now on to the verse that spoke loudest to me today. 

2 Corinthians 12:9(NKJV)

9And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

I don't know about you but there are a few select verses that really shape my overall belief in and understanding of God.  This is one of those verses. 

Before I explain why this verse is important to me let me talk about another one to set the stage.

I'm not going to bother to look it up but it is where God asks Solomon what he wants.  Solomon asks for wisdom and knowledge so he can be a good King.  Because he asked for that instead of wealth and glory, God gave him wisdom and knowledge as well as wealth and glory. 

I have always admired that and tried to follow it in my prayer life.  That is why I have such a hard time asking for things specifically for me when I pray, even though Scripture in places tells us we should pray for specific things.  I just keep praying for wisdom and knowledge and guidance.  

The second reason I have a hard time praying for specific things in my prayer life is that Scripture tells us that God has a plan for our lives and already knows what we need.  In fact Scripture tells us that God will equip us to achieve every good work that He has planned for our lives. 

Because of that I tend to defer to God's judgment of what I need.  He's got it all under control.  I trust Him.  Much of my prayer time is just spent say "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, for all that you already do for me.   Please let me know what else you want me to do for you!"

Which brings me to the verse above.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

That verse makes it hard for me to pray for relief from medical issues (not that I am suffering from anything really big right now or anything). 

Let me give an example.  I got my right eye shot out with a BB gun when I was in the 5th grade, 11 years old.  I have been blind in my right eye since then.  A lot of people thought it was a really tragic thing to have happen.  To me it just wasn't that big of a deal.  God's grace more than makes up for the missing eye. 

So as I age and start to experience things like parts of my body hurting for no reason, I try to just take it in stride.  I just trust that God has it all under control. 

I don't ask Him to take away this issue or that issue.  He knows what I need already.  He knows what needs to be healed so that I can continue to fulfill His plan for my life and He also knows what He can let slide.  After all, He doesn't need me to live forever. 

His grace can again overcome any weakness that my body may be experiencing.  I don't need to whine to Him about it.  Does that make sense?

As I mentioned above, I realize that there are plenty of other Scriptures that I can point to that tell me to ask for specific things, or to ask for healing.  However for my particular walk with God, these are the Scriptures that hold more sway with me.

Paul, the little old Jewish mother! :)

I may have written about this before but it still strikes me as funny.  To me Paul sounds like the stereotypical little old Jewish mother.  What I mean by that is the whole laying on the guilt trip thing. 

I think a good reference of what I am talking about from current culture would be the show Big Bang Theory.  Wolowitz lives with his Mom and she will do that to him many times.  The whole "look at all I do for you and all I gave up, etc".  

It just makes me chuckle to think of St. Paul like that.  :)

2 Corinthians 11:22-29(NKJV)

22Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? So am I. 

23Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. 

24From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. 

25Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; 

26in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 

27in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness—

28besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. 

29Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I do not burn with indignation?

The Generosity Boomerang

2 Corinthians 9:6-8(NKJV)

6But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 

7So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. 

8And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work. 

I've always loved these verses.  Let me summarize.

Give generously, give cheerfully! 

That's it.  Give generously of all things.  Your time, your talents, and your treasures.  Give with a spirit of joy!  Not grudgingly as in fulfilling a duty but joyfully because it is fun.
 

Why should we do this? 

8And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work. 

Because God in turn will be just as generous with us. 

The Generosity Boomerang!

I Very Rarely Do This

I very rarely post an entire chapter but Psalm 15 is short and informative.

Psalms 15:1-5(NKJV)

1    Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle?      Who may dwell in Your holy hill?

In other words, Hey God, can I hang out with you?  What do I need to do to qualify to hang out with you?

2    He who walks uprightly,      And works righteousness,     And speaks the truth in his heart;

3    He who does not backbite with his tongue,      Nor does evil to his neighbor,     Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend;

4    In whose eyes a vile person is despised,      But he honors those who fear the Lord;      He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;

5    He who does not put out his money at usury,      Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.      He who does these things shall never be moved.

Don't you love it when God lays things out and makes them simple?  Notice that I highlighted one of the answers in green?  I wanted to touch on that one for a minute. 

Want to know if someone is a Godly person, someone that God would want to hang out with?  Pay attention to how they treat believers.  They may seem spiritual and all but if they don't honor others who believe, beware. 

All of the things listed above are nice, good suggestions on how we should live our lives.  But there is one over riding requirement today that didn't exist when Psalms was written.  You have to believe in God's son Jesus Christ.

Only by accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior do you get to hang out with God for eternity.  Only by asking Jesus to take over and guide your life do you get to build that relationship with God that entitles you to eternal fellowship with Him.

Have you done that yet?  Why not do it right now?  Just have a conversation with Jesus.  Let Him know where you are at in life, what you are looking for.  Just have a conversation with Jesus.  "Dear Jesus…."

Differences in Approach

Let's do a little contrast and compare between King David and Paul.

First King David. 

Psalms 13:1-2(NKJV)

1    How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?      How long will You hide Your face from me?

2    How long shall I take counsel in my soul,     Having sorrow in my heart daily?     How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Psalms 13:5-6(NKJV)

5    But I have trusted in Your mercy;      My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

6    I will sing to the Lord,      Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

Here King David starts off with the old woe is me, God has forgotten all about me pity party.  Then along about the 5 and 6th verses he seems to remind himself that God always comes through for him and he almost reluctantly acknowledges that.

That just seems like a lack of faith to me.  Either you believe that God will come through for you or you don't.  And you believe it in the toughest of times just as strongly as you believe it when things are going good.  I don't see that here.

Now let's compare that to Paul.

2 Corinthians 7:4(NKJV)

4Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort. I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation.

Joyful in our tribulations?  Is he crazy?  Or is he following Scripture.  As many of you know, this is one of my favorite Scriptures. 

Romans 5:2-5(NKJV)

2through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 

3And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 

4and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 

5Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Seems to me that Paul is showing much more faith because he doesn't have a pity party.  He is joyful in his tribulation.  He's saying bring it on, I've got God on my side and so no matter what you do to me I know that my God will prevail.

Now that is faith!

I Wonder About This

2 Corinthians 5:18-19(NKJV)

18Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 

19that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

Scripture is clear that our ministry is to try and reconcile the lost to God.  How far away from the Word should we stray to accomplish that mission?

It just seems to me that there is a tendency to water down God's message to try and lure people into the church.  The strategy seems to be once we get them there we can slowly teach them the real truth.  At least that is the way it seems to me.

I look at some of the things the new Pope has said which seem to me to clearly go against Scripture.  I've seen other preachers do it as well.  They don't want to offend or drive people away so they give a sugar coated version of God.  They teach all about the love of God and totally ignore anything else that may be uncomfortable.  The over riding goal seems to be to get the people "plugged in" and then over time we can 'help them mature' in their faith.

I have to admit that even I am guilty of it.  When I offer the opportunity for people to accept Jesus in my writings I encourage them to have a conversation with Jesus, let Him know what they need.  I leave it up to them to find the right words. 

The problem is that I know this isn't Scripturally correct.  Scripture tells us that we need to believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus is the Son of God, that He was crucified here on earth but the He was raised form the dead on the 3rd day and now sits at the right hand of God.

So why do I do it the other way?  Because it seems easier than explaining all the details to someone who is new for fear of overwhelming them.  But is it OK to do it that way?  Will they actually be saved?  Is Jesus or God going to be a stickler about the exact verbage or are they more interested in the fact that someone is inviting them in, no matter the exact words that they use? 

I like to believe that my God is flexible, understanding, and easy going  so that the intention is more important than the words.  But is it? 

That is what I wonder about.

Upon the wicked He will rain coals

There seems to be a belief among a lot of people who reject the Bible and Jesus that there is a teddy bear god out there who just simply loves everybody and everything.  This teddy bear god of theirs never ask anything of anyone and is all accepting of anything and everything.  

Is that what Scripture says?  Nope!  Here is just one example although I have many more. 

Psalms 11:5-6(NKJV)

5    The Lord tests the righteous,     But the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates.

6    Upon the wicked He will rain coals;     Fire and brimstone and a burning wind     Shall be the portion of their cup.

So we have Scripture right here that tells us that there are people that God hates.  Not just dislikes.  Not just mad at.  God actually hates.  Who does he hate?  The wicked.  Just who exactly are the wicked?

wick·ed

1. evil or morally bad in principle or practice; sinful; iniquitous: wicked people; wicked habits.

2. mischievous or playfully malicious: These wicked kittens upset everything.

3. distressingly severe, as a storm, wound, or cold: a wicked winter.

4. unjustifiable; dreadful; beastly: wicked prices; a wicked exam.

5. having a bad disposition; ill-natured; mean: a wicked horse.

Pasted from <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/wicked?s=t&ld=1117>

And if I might add my own insight here, unrepentantly sinful.  The reason I add that qualifier is that God tells us we are all sinful and fall short of the glory of God and even though that is the case we can be reconciled to God through belief in His son Jesus Christ.  It wouldn't be logical for God to look at those who have accepted Jesus as wicked.

So it seems to me that one of the main differences between being wicked or not is an issue of the heart.  Are we repentant or not?  Are we sorry we failed God again or not?  Are we trying our best to live our life in a Godly fashion or not? 

And what is the absolute best way to show God that our heart is with Him?  By accepting Jesus.  Have you done that yet?  Have you asked Jesus to come into your life and guide you?  Can you feel that tug deep inside you that wants that relationship?

Then just have a conversation with Jesus.  Let' Him know what you need.  Just get honest with Him.  "Dear Jesus…."
 

We Are Called To Excellence!

1 Corinthians 14:12(NKJV)

12Even so you, since you are zealous for spiritual gifts, let it be for the edification of the church that you seek to excel.

There are many Scriptures that talk about us striving to do our best.  To use the skills God gave us to the best of our abilities.  We are told to run the race to win.  In the Parable of the Talents, the one who didn't use his talents lost all that he had and God was displeased with him.

So it is well established that we strive to excel in all that we do. 

But why?  To what purpose?  Why does it matter to God?  I believe the above Scripture answers that question. 

"...let it be for the edification of the church that you seek to excel. "

To put it another way which brings more glory to God?  A sloppy, disorganized, run down church or a church that strives for excellence in all they do?   We represent God here on earth.  Let's represent Him in the way He would like to be represented!

I'm Not Sure This Is True Any More

Psalms 9:16(NKJV)

16    The Lord is known by the judgment He executes;     The wicked is snared in the work of his own hands. Meditation.£ Selah

While I still believe the second part of this verse, I'm not sure the first part of the verse is true anymore.  Here is what I mean.

I have referred several times in my ramblings to Kumbaya Jesus and Kumbaya God.  This belief that God is totally cool with people rejecting Jesus.  That God has a live and let live attitude about someone rejecting His Son.  Scripture is very clear that this is not the case.
 

Once someone has been given the chance to accept Jesus and they reject Him, God takes that very personally.  God in His Word describes that person as an enemy of God.  Scripture is also very clear that God will execute judgment on that person. 

I just don't think most people believe that there really will be a judgment.  I've heard way too many people say things like "A loving God wouldn't do that.", etc.  The whole belief in Kumbaya God all over again.

You know back in the old days around 550 BC or so I believe God allowed the Jews to be carried off to Babylon.  Sort of a smack upside the head to get their attention and make them believe in His judgments again.  I wonder what He has up His sleeve this time around?

Dominion-what's in a word?

What is in a word?  Can we sometimes read too much into a word?  As Freud once famously said "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.".

I believe that one of the things the Holy Spirit helps us to do in our daily walk is to notice or single out specific words.  We may have read a chapter multiple times and all of a sudden you notice a particular word and that gives the  chapter or verse new meaning.

Here is such an example from my walk today.

Psalms 8:4-6(NKJV)

4    What is man that You are mindful of him,     And the son of man that You visit him?

5    For You have made him a little lower than £the angels,     And You have crowned him with glory and honor.

6    You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands;      You have put all things under his feet,

Dominion 

There are other words that God could have used there.  Does dominion have some sort of special meaning?  Let's look at the definition.

do·min·ion

1. the power or right of governing and controlling; sovereign authority.

2. rule; control; domination.

3. a territory, usually of considerable size, in which a single rulership holds sway.

4. lands or domains subject to sovereignty or control.

5. Government . a territory constituting a self-governing commonwealth and being one of a number of such territories united in a community of nations, or empire: formerly applied to self-governing divisions of the British Empire, as Canada and New Zealand.

Pasted from <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dominion>

Look at the first definition.  Sovereign authority.  What exactly does that mean? 

sov·er·eign

adjective

1. belonging to or characteristic of a sovereign or sovereign authority; royal.

2. having supreme rank, power, or authority.

3. supreme; preeminent; indisputable: a sovereign right.

4. greatest in degree; utmost or extreme.

5. being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc.

Look at the definitions of sovereign.  The first one uses sovereign authority and calls it royal.  The second definition speaks of supreme rank, power, or authority.  The other definitions strike similar tones.  

Now let's look at the verse again.

   For You have made him a little lower than £the angels,     And You have crowned him with glory and honor.

6    You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands;      You have put all things under his feet,

What I draw from the use of the word dominion is a distinction that I had not noticed before.  I've known that God has given man dominion over the things that God has made.  That is pretty incredible in and of itself.  Think about it.  Even though God knew right from the start that we were sinful and would need salvation, He still thought enough of us to put us in charge of his creation here on earth.

What I didn't understand until today is the degree of authority He has given us here.  I had always thought of us as caretakers, underlings if you will.  What this Scripture has taught me is that God has conveyed on us the authority of Him who made everything. 

Now please don't misunderstand.  I'm not saying we are replacing God or anything like that.  I'm just saying that we should look at our authority here with the  eyes of an owner, not a caretaker.  Does that make sense or am I reading to much into dominion?

God is….Part 2

As I wrote on Friday I have been pondering God's character.  On Friday God, through  His Word, gave me the idea to do a word search on the phrase "God is" in the Bible.  I listed a lot of phrases on Friday but there were too many to get through that day so I finished the study today.

Pretty interesting to say the least.  I ended up with 48 words or phrases from that study.  Some of them you would expect.

God is love.

God is salvation.

God is holy.

Some were not what I expected.

God is terror.  (this appears twice)

God is jealous.

God is a consuming fire.

There are several words that appear more than once. 

Able (5 times)

Witness (4 times)

Merciful (2 times)

But there is only one word that appears 35 times to describe God.  The next closest number of times a word is used is only 12 times.  I wonder if there is any significance to that?

Any idea what that word is?

Giving! 

I think it is a good idea to try to reflect the character of God in our daily lives.  More than anything else God is described as being giving.  I can't think of a better place to start!

God is….

One of the things I have been pondering lately is the character of God.  What are the character attributes of God?  How would you look that up?  How would you study it? 

Well today as I was reading Psalm 7 and I ran across this verse.

Psalms 7:11(NKJV)

11    God is a just judge,      And God is angry with the wicked every day.

I just love how God uses His word to guide and enlighten.  A good place to start is right there.  God is….

I use a computerized Bible so I am able to search on individual words or phrases.  Why not start this quest by searching the Bible for the phrase "God is".  Turns out that phrase appears 188 times in the New King James version of the Bible.

Now as I read through the verses I found that not all had deep meaning so we are just going to take a look at the ones that stand out to me. 

This ended up being a bigger project than I expected.  I have a bunch of verses here but don't feel like you need to read them all.  I will finish this over the next day or two and report back. 

So far I have 30 different words.  Some used more than once.  I think you'll be surprised at the one used the most. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's start with Psalms 7:11 above.  It says God is a "just judge".  Not just a judge mind you but a just judge.

God also gets angry. 

Genesis 31:50(NKJV)

50If you afflict my daughters, or if you take other wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us—see, God is witness between you and me!”

Exodus 20:12(NKJV)

12    “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

Numbers 23:19(NKJV)

19    “God is not a man, that He should lie,      Nor a son of man, that He should repent.     Has He said, and will He not do?     Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?

Deuteronomy 4:24(NKJV)

24For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.

Deuteronomy 4:31(NKJV)

31(for the Lord your God is a merciful God), He will not forsake you nor destroy you, nor forget the covenant of your fathers which He swore to them.

Deuteronomy 7:21(NKJV)

21You shall not be terrified of them; for the Lord your God, the great and awesome God, is among you. 

Deuteronomy 9:3(NKJV)

3Therefore understand today that the Lord your God is He who goes over before you as a consuming fire. He will destroy them and bring them down before you; so you shall drive them out and destroy them quickly, as the Lord has said to you.

Deuteronomy 10:17(NKJV)

17For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality nor takes a bribe. 

Deuteronomy 13:3(NKJV)

3you shall not listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams, for the Lord your God is testing you to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. 

Deuteronomy 33:27(NKJV)

27    The eternal God is your refuge,     And underneath are the everlasting arms;     He will thrust out the enemy from before you,     And will say, ‘Destroy!’

Joshua 23:3(NKJV)

3You have seen all that the Lord your God has done to all these nations because of you, for the Lord your God is He who has fought for you. 

Joshua 24:17(NKJV)

17for the Lord our God is He who brought us and our fathers up out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage, who did those great signs in our sight, and preserved us in all the way that we went and among all the people through whom we passed. 

(rescuer)

2 Samuel 22:33(NKJV)

33    £God is my strength and power,     And He makes £my way perfect.

2 Chronicles 30:9(NKJV)

9For if you return to the Lord, your brethren and your children will be treated with compassion by those who lead them captive, so that they may come back to this land; for the Lord your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn His face from you if you return to Him.”

Job 9:4(NKJV)

4    God is wise in heart and mighty in strength.     Who has hardened himself against Him and prospered?

Job 31:23(NKJV)

23    For destruction from God is a terror to me,     And because of His magnificence I cannot endure.

Job 36:22(NKJV)

22    “Behold, God is exalted by His power;      Who teaches like Him?

Psalms 14:5(NKJV)

5    There they are in great fear,     For God is with the generation of the righteous.

Psalms 45:6(NKJV)

6    Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;      A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom.

Psalms 54:4(NKJV)

4    Behold, God is my helper;      The Lord is with those who uphold my life.

Psalms 59:9(NKJV)

9    I will wait for You, O You £his Strength;      For God is my defense.

Psalms 62:7(NKJV)

7    In God is my salvation and my glory;     The rock of my strength,     And my refuge, is in God.

Psalms 73:1(NKJV)

1    Truly God is good to Israel,      To such as are pure in heart.

Psalms 99:9(NKJV)

9    Exalt the Lord our God,     And worship at His holy hill;      For the Lord our God is holy.

"... let him be accursed"

Let who be accursed?

1 Corinthians 16:22(NKJV)

22If anyone does not love the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be £accursed. O£ Lord, come!

This is from Paul.  Just another one of those verses that dispels the notion of Kumbaya Jesus.  We are all free to make our choice as to whether to believe in Jesus or not.  However that choice is not without benefits or consequences, depending how we choose.  How have you chosen? 

I Find Paul Odd

I've always had conflicted thoughts about Paul.  I've never really been able to put my finger on it until now.  I think these two paragraphs nail the issues for me. 

Before I get into that though let me say that I fully accept that Paul's inclusion is no accident.  It is part of God's plan.  The reason I believe that is because there is so much of Paul in the Bible.    Too much of Paul for it to be an accident.  Therefore I accept that while I have conflicted feelings about Paul I still need to learn from what he has written.

Why am I sharing this?  Well as I've said from the start, this is just a blog of my daily walk.  While I am what I would consider to be strong in my faith, I don't think this would be an honest blog if I didn't also shares some of the things that maybe bug me or that I question.  I don't think God has a problem with honest questions either.  After all, He is the one who gave us the intellect.

1 Corinthians 15:3-11(NKJV)

3For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 

4and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures, 

5and that He was seen by Cephas, then by the twelve. 

6After that He was seen by over five hundred brethren at once, of whom the greater part remain to the present, but some have fallen asleep. 

7After that He was seen by James, then by all the apostles. 

8Then last of all He was seen by me also, as by one born out of due time.

9For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 

10But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. 

11Therefore, whether it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.

I sense in Paul's writings a bit of a false sense of humility that he uses to mask a pretty big ego or a big inferiority complex and I'm not sure which it is.  It's almost as if he feels he needs to justify himself as a "real" apostle compared to the 12. 

Paul starts by detailing all who saw Jesus after He rose from the dead.  The last one he includes in that list is Himself, Paul.  Now I don't know about you but I don't see Paul's experience with Jesus as being the same as the rest of them that are listed. 

To me the difference is that everybody else saw the actual physical body of Jesus walking and talking in the flesh.  Paul saw a metaphysical presence of Jesus in a vision.  Not the same thing in my mind.  I'm not saying it was any less real for Paul.  I'm just saying that it isn't the same thing in my book.

Now maybe I am not interpreting things correctly.  Without going back and looking, it is my belief that when Jesus rose from the dead He stuck around here on earth for a few weeks before God took Jesus up into Heaven.

In Paul's case, Jesus had already ascended into Heaven month's before and so that is why I believe that Paul's interaction with Jesus was more of a vision than a physical interaction.  Maybe I am wrong on that.

Anyway the other thing here is the whole humility/false humility thing in verses 9 and 10.  Paul starts out by saying how he isn't worthy to be called an apostle.  Insecurity or false humility, not sure which.  Then Paul turns around and says "but I labored more abundantly than they all".  I didn't realize it was a contest and that we were keeping score.  Justification or pride, again not sure. 

And then Paul switches again back into the passive "yet not I but the grace of God which was with me".  Is it false humility or truly giving the glory to God.  I realize it could be a bit of both.

I don't know why but the tone of that whole thing just bugs me.  If this was the only case of it in Paul's writings I'd consider it a one off but I have noticed this pattern elsewhere.

Oh well, just add that to the list of things that I'll get to ask God to explain to me someday.  Have a great day folk!